week two: funnel filling

i've just logged on to google in order to write this and adwords has shocked me. i'm now quite au fait with adwords due to using it for my website. basically you pay, via a very easy to use but complicated to understand mechanism, for your ad to appear when someone searches for a specific thing. you actually only pay if someone then clicks on your ad to see your site. when i say i'm au fait with it, i mean i know what it is meant to do, but i'm using it very, very badly. so far i've managed to elicit only three clicks from over 400 ads/impressions (note the new web-wise vocab i embrace). in fact when i last looked google advised me that i was no longer going to be included in some searches due to "negligable usage" or some such frippery. and to add insult to injury none of those three clicks have resulted in an "i'm interested in your business" email. my gut feeling is that my stated marketing budget of £30 per month may be limiting the heights to which google prioritises me when someone types in "edinburgh accountant": a wide group, granted. and probably a group with a little bit more marketing spend available. and so far i've only used 40p of that budget, step it up google!



anyway, i drift from the point. when i logged on google decided that the best advert to show me, right up there in pole position, RHS, top of the page, was one entitled "Be Naughty". it was followed up with the byline "real people, real photos, real fun. They want to be naughty tonight". well this interests me on a number of levels; none of them the level hoped for before you ask.



i) why did my search for "google" elicit that advertisment for me? what do the little cookies or other such spy vehicles watching my every finger stroke say about me to google? that i might be naughty too? that after bundling my two girls through the various 5pm - 7.30pm routine (nursery pick up, dinner, discussion on edibility (or lack thereof) of dinner, pudding bribery, gigglebiz (little britain for children), speed-bath, debate over exit of speed-bath, tears over coldness post-bath, rediscovery of toys in bedroom making pyjama wearing undesirable, tears over pyjama choice, indifference over story choice, tears over mummy's story choice, argument over milk temperature, discussion of every line of story, argument over need for wee, adherence of rigid protocol of blowing kisses and confirmation of kisses caught, CLICK of stair gate shutting, and start of evening household administration tasks) I might declare gleefully, "now i feel really naughty. where did i see that list of people who feel really naughty too? with real fun?" oh, but wait, darn. i'd forgotten that i have to do a few things first. after i've made dinner, put away the on-line shop (which i'd forgotten about and arrived just as i'd put my own pyjamas on resulting in slightly awkward backward stance so he couldn't see my peanut smuggling exercise through the t-shirt; see, maybe i am naughty: has google registered me typing that and next time adwords will pull up something even more explicit?) re-arranged the cleaning day, wrapped a pressie, written a cheque for a nursery related activity, made up the spare bed for my mum's visit, put some photos into a frame which have been waiting for 3 months for a 5 min window of opportunity, well maybe after those things i'll feel a bit naughty? or maybe i'll put on my really big dressing gown and watch an hour of tv until adam is spat out from work, chewed and regurgitated, and asking "so what did you do this evening?". if i told him i'd been a bit naughty he'd think i'd forgotten to unload the dishwasher.



ii) sorry, have gone on a bit for i) but have now come to ii) which is how??? how did that particular advertiser manage to get their advert up their on its own when my search was simply "google"? i want their slick adwords skills. that way people would type google and my website would pop up. now that would be worth £30 per month.



so, i seem to have written a lot about google and very little about the business this week. well i've had a meeting this morning and have another one this afternoon! the one this morning was with a "gate-keeper". i've decided to categorise my marketing into two types: "gate-keepers" will not use me directly but may have contact with potential clients, whereas others are just potential clients.. i haven't come up with a name for them yet. hmmm. need to focus on that; i like my groups to have headings, makes me very happy. this afternoon i'm meeting with one of the second group, maybe i'll call them "potentials". so i really need to type up my morning notes, have some lunch and prepare for the 3pm but i seem to have now typed for longer than planned and only have about half an hour so quick sarnie while re-reading their website me thinks. is hummus too garlicy pre meeting? clearly need to put back on "executive business woman" image so will stop thinking through logistics of tomorrow's pre-school/john lewis/sainsburys/glasgow activities and FOCUS. bring it on.

ps have just remember another trigger for google sending me that link. i speed-texted a new mum at nursery yesterday and as i clicked "send" i noticed i'd managed to sign it off "latex" rather than "kate x"...joy. perhaps google picked that up through the ether and nodded knowingly to its virtual self, chuckling and thinking "i know what sort of ad THIS girl will like"...