week thirteen: it's not that funny and is a bit of a rant

even i am getting bored of my same old budget-blues-poor me-look at my lack of income-i can't get a job- rant. yes, it is hard and psychologically challenging to be quite bright, quite adaptable and flexible, to have a CV crammed with words like international and qualified and STILL not be able to get a role because, heaven forbid, i want it to be.......PART TIME. flexible living, life-style balance, family first, prioritise children: the buzz words of our society yet when push comes to shove how many businesses will actually genuinely embrace the concept of part time workers without being forced into it via statutory rights of women returning to work post-maternity. and even then it is usually at the cost of the role to the women who is moved into a more administrative position thus forgoing true career advancement.

the glass ceiling might well have disappeared and yes, women can march right up to the top of any business now but quite frankly they will have either had to forgo the chance to have a family, or largely sub-contracted the childcare element of their life.

i am not anti full-time working mothers: this is their choice. well i say that but it is not actually an option to all women; the reality is that they have to be quite high earners facilitating the nanny option, or surrounded by oodles of family offering the joy of free and loving and flexible childcare. the next possiblity is nursery which has pros and cons compared to the nanny option, but is limited by the constraints of 8am - 6pm and children actually needing to be dressed and well to attend; and is still beyond the financial remit of most non-professionals.

so these constraints not withstanding, assuming one has a childcare option the next issue is career advancement. and for me it is the glass mezzanine that now exists: women encounter it when they try to go back to part-time work and find that, assuming their role does still exist for them, promotion is slow. and it isn't that i can't see the commercial and operational difficulties that can exist for a business with a part time senior employee: but they do seem to be surmountable.

in life, and sue me but i think this is generally true, men do a great job on a one-track route whereas women have to reinvent themselves as life moves on from the point that they have children. men surf the shifting sands but women have to stand in them, holding tight to all things domestic and familial while the dust resettles and they establish which way is up. the nitty gritty minutiae of name tags on clothes, missing favourite toys, fruit fads, five-a-day, shoe sizes, birthdays, anniversaries, food planning, family launderette services, social plate-spinning, banana skins out of car glove compartments, solidified weetabix under the high chair, snacks for nursery pick ups and much much more all fall to us; but we manage it. we prioritise it which means it isn't all achieved everyday, but the world keeps spinning, the children are fed and dressed and no major family birthday is missed. but somehow businesses feel that it is not within our abilities to bring this multi-tasking, process-led, time-line oriented prioritisation role to work and thus facilitate part time working.

because we might not be there when we're needed.

like everyone always used to get back to me on the day i mailed or called them?

very very few businesses decide to randomly recruit part time. instead, us work-shy pretenders have to surruptitiously apply for full time roles in the hope that we can shine shine shine and then quietly bring about a conversation regarding flexible working options, like we're admitting to a drug habit or a previous conviction.

is this a failing in society? is it right that women who are experienced and skilled at managing the many different elements of domestic life would not be able to manage the inconceivable difficulties of making a role work three days a week? i think it would actually add some real focus on task orientated project roles; but that is really by-the-by because the bigger issue is with regards to family, and children, and the instinct to be there quite a bit before they head off to school, and the instinct to pick them up from school and not always use wrap-around-care, and the reality of whether this is actually possible for a willing-to-pay-tax mum or whether there is a lot of smoke and mirrors surrounding the real issue of flexible working practises.

so as you might have gathered i've failed to get contract work on a part time basis this week: despite a lot of nice smiling and ooh and aahing at my cv. and today i've written to 10 accountancy firms and 6 private schools offering my services so i'm not giving up on the business idea but struggling with the intense lack of response.

my gut feeling is that my business is being waylaid by a desire for companies to not spend on external non-essential costs in this market and i really need to get a foot in the door. my contracting abilities are limited by my desire to work part time. my sainsburys budget is reduced such that i had to remove my marmite from the list in order to come in with a favourable variance, and i'm on day three of my socks. but that's just bad hygiene and a lack of prioritisation on the laundry front. i'm still justifying the cleaner but only by the skin of my teeth, and the menu for next week involves quite a few vegetable dishes with a roast chicken providing three meals.

and i might buy some spam.